were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Your shirt... Was in my pants
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
