I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
