didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
