Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
