quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
