She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
