Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
