Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
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