on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
