I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
