if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I look better un-naked...
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
