he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
