He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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