I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
