I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Randomize
