so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
