There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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