You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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