why didn't you poke me back
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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