This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
