Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
There r osticjed everywhere
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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