One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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