i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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