omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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