They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
