at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
pray to the hookup gods
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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