im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
