i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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