make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
