maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
