I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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