The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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