he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
