I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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