4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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