Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
