You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
