Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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