I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
