The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
