she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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