He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
