Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
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