i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
