i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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