I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
