he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
