Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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