Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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