so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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